Alright, second post. I’m beginning to gain some momentum now. I told Adam that I was beginning to blog our wedding adventures yesterday, and my news was met with a highly overdramatic eye-roll. Oh, men.
So Adam and I have been engaged for almost a year now and kept fussing around with a date for our wedding. Money, family feuds, and college all kept effecting our dates. I must have changed my mind a thousand times. But the good news is now, WE HAVE BOOKED A VENUE FINALLY!!! Twelve Acres in Smithfield, RI.
It’s funny really. When I first got engaged, I had said I wanted a backyard wedding with lots of DIY decorations and simple, vintage details. As time passed our guest list grew and quickly surpassed backyard capacity. Our wedding turned into a giant thing, and we set the date in January to help keeps costs low and also because we could get married in between semesters, and then Adam could go back to school in late January to finish his last semester. Plus, I secretly love winter weddings.
See, my parents have 4 kids, three of which are girls, all about 18 months apart. So they couldn’t exactly take out a second mortgage to pay for this thing, because what you do for one, you must do for all. My dad makes decent money, but not enough to drop down $25,000 in one year for a 6 hour party. My parents don’t charge anything on credit cards and have no debt as a result. So having a wedding for 220 people just seemed impossible. But here’s the thing, Adam’s parents are stinking rich. Seriously millionaires. No joke. Initially, Adam and I didn’t want to ask his parents for any money for the wedding because we didn’t want to be “those people” who assume the wealthy friends will pay for everything. But then his parents started to insist on this huge guest list, even recommended a venue that was $150 a head. So we began to assume they would pay for it. Then when we sat down to agree to a budget, they said they would only give us $5,000. Hit the brakes – what?! They led us to believe they would take care of everything, even at one point said, “take whatever your parents can give you and whatever you guys save, and we’ll take care of the rest”. Then when it came down to it they backed out. WHY?
Well I sat down with Adam’s mom and asked her to level with me about the whole thing. She told me that they just felt like they “weren’t involved enough”. Hi, red flag. All aboard the Manipulation Express. So we realized then and there that their money came with strings attached. She told me that her side of the family, their BARE MINIMUM was 116 people. My mom’s minimum? 42. Yeah, not happening lady.
So there were all these fights and plans kept changing until Adam and I had to take a step back and decide that our wedding wasn’t going to be about money. It was about us and what we wanted. Adam and I aren’t big party people. We’d rather spend a night in, sharing a blanket and eating BBQ chips and chugging Dr. Pepper. So I took control of the situation. Yes, it took me 10 months, but I’ve got it now. So now I’m back to my relaxing vintage garden wedding. Which brings me back to our venue. Twelve Acres. He's a pic I snapped with my iPad when we went in to sign the contract.
It’s a little rough around the edges, but it has a lot of potential. I love the Chinese lanterns and there’s strings of little white lights around the perimeter. You can’t see the bar (it was behind me) and all those tent sides come down and it’s all green fields and woods surrounding you. They have horseshoe pits and a bocce pit to get guests out in the sunshine. It’s nice because it’s an actual roof, not a tent, and it has a real floor, not lumpy grass. And they provide all the food. We sprung for a lobster bake and steak fry menu. Sort of keeping with the backyard feel we wanted. Our menu for 200+ people (buffet style) cost us about $8,500, which is REALLY cheap for New England. My parents are paying for it. We haven’t even told Adam’s parents yet. Their daughter is getting married on the 15th, so we plan on telling them everything after that’s done so things aren’t so overwhelming for them. I think they are going to be PISSED that they weren’t involved in the selection process, but between us, they forfeited that privilege when they started using their money to manipulate us. I am so excited to share all my details with you! I’ve already started treasure hunting and came up with some really great ideas!